I approached the edge carefully. All that separated me from the abyss below was a few ledges but after that, after that I would be lost to the world and swallowed by they canyon. As the sun set I propped myself on the edge and dangled my feet over the side. I was the closest I could have ever been to nature at this one point and strangely the closest to death but you can not think that when you are swallowed up by the natural awe of one of the seven wonders of the world. Most explore the canyon behind steel posts that keep tourist alike from getting to close to danger. Of course that would never be acceptable to me. My adventurous soul drew me to the North Rim where time stood still as well as my feet. There were no tourist. You could hear the bird that is catching the updraft begging for a break from all its travels. No snapping of cameras on this side just the gentle lullaby of the wind sweeping through crevices and cracks that have developed over thousands of years. Here I am at peace. My tracks are fresh and it has been at least three months since another human being had approached this very same ledge. I find joy it that small tedious fact. Tonight this canyon, this ledge is all mine and I only share it with the birds dancing above and the whisper of the wind below.
The first time I approached the edge of the canyon I remember looking out. I never knew where to look because from the top to the bottom the view was ever changing. I could not wrap my thoughts or my senses around what was laid out in front of me. It was an experience that would only be truly recognized once we were miles away. The thin veil that seemed to create a haze over everything you saw is now removed and the enormity of what you experienced hits and in one moment the scale of your existence is felt and tiny footprint you will leave is even smaller than you imagined. It is a feeling that I hope everyone will at least feel once in their lives.
Today I find myself at the edge of my own canyon. A canyon that has been shaped with the forcefulness of tears and nurtured by the light of a smile. The layers are measured in days and the ever changing landscape has seen many seasons of breakdown and growth. The constant piece that has not changed is a tiny ledge I have stood forcefully on as I braced for every storm that has rolled through my canyon. As I waited and wondered I watched life go on around me stuck on this ledge of never seen change. That is until now.
I slowly step off of my ledge and find solid ground where once it never existed. I slowly step back, one foot behind the other. As the distance grows between the edge and myself I can start to see the thin veil that has separated us. As I find myself farther and farther away I can slowly feel in my heart the movement that has been frozen in time. I feel my heart beat and can close my eyes and hear it ring through my ears. My breath has been stolen and I can feel the impact of my knees on the dirt and I look up in a soft plea. Finally the echo of myself no longer exists and the voice that echoed for years has grown silent in the prison of the canyon walls and is now being heard by many.
I see it all and understand now what the purpose of everything has been. The time that slowly tiptoed by was all for gathering and processing. Information exchanged between everyone while my life stopped and time moved on without me is now complete. Denial after denial was met at the door with hearts heard breaking around the world. I kindly say no more in a whisper only this moment in time can hear.
Now is the season of healing as the wait comes to an end. Life plans can be made, decisions can be discussed and finally the life seen moving so quick around me stops suddenly. I look out the door I opened suddenly in front of me. One look back takes me to the sight of the thinning veil and as I gaze out the door I see the world I have had to remove myself from for years. Without a moment of hesitation I step onto the sidewalk, close the door behind me and as it disappears into a memory the world bustles around me. It explodes in sounds, smells and everything my little eye can see. Finally once more I find that I am one with the world around me. I am one face among millions with nothing calling attention to me and it has never felt so good. It is time to now give back and truly start making my tiny but significant mark on this vast, ever changing world.
Today I find myself at the edge of my own canyon. A canyon that has been shaped with the forcefulness of tears and nurtured by the light of a smile. The layers are measured in days and the ever changing landscape has seen many seasons of breakdown and growth. The constant piece that has not changed is a tiny ledge I have stood forcefully on as I braced for every storm that has rolled through my canyon. As I waited and wondered I watched life go on around me stuck on this ledge of never seen change. That is until now.
I slowly step off of my ledge and find solid ground where once it never existed. I slowly step back, one foot behind the other. As the distance grows between the edge and myself I can start to see the thin veil that has separated us. As I find myself farther and farther away I can slowly feel in my heart the movement that has been frozen in time. I feel my heart beat and can close my eyes and hear it ring through my ears. My breath has been stolen and I can feel the impact of my knees on the dirt and I look up in a soft plea. Finally the echo of myself no longer exists and the voice that echoed for years has grown silent in the prison of the canyon walls and is now being heard by many.
I see it all and understand now what the purpose of everything has been. The time that slowly tiptoed by was all for gathering and processing. Information exchanged between everyone while my life stopped and time moved on without me is now complete. Denial after denial was met at the door with hearts heard breaking around the world. I kindly say no more in a whisper only this moment in time can hear.
Now is the season of healing as the wait comes to an end. Life plans can be made, decisions can be discussed and finally the life seen moving so quick around me stops suddenly. I look out the door I opened suddenly in front of me. One look back takes me to the sight of the thinning veil and as I gaze out the door I see the world I have had to remove myself from for years. Without a moment of hesitation I step onto the sidewalk, close the door behind me and as it disappears into a memory the world bustles around me. It explodes in sounds, smells and everything my little eye can see. Finally once more I find that I am one with the world around me. I am one face among millions with nothing calling attention to me and it has never felt so good. It is time to now give back and truly start making my tiny but significant mark on this vast, ever changing world.
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