I wish with all my heart that I could say I have only experienced compassion and understanding when it comes to being sick but I would be lying. I wish that I could tell the younger generation who have yet to experience chronic illness or disease that the world will be more open and understanding when it comes to their individual struggles and pain. I want to tell them that tomorrow you will have the help you need and the love and support from the world you were born into. I want to say that I struggled today so that your tomorrow will be better and your life will be easier.
Instead I have to look at someone who was just diagnosed and tell them that they will not only have to fight for their life on a daily basis within their own body but that they will have to fight for the rest of their life against a society that looks down on those who are ill or may not contribute in the way that the world as whole thinks is appropriate. You will be judged, scrutinized and called a liar for the aches and pains your disease will inflict on you. Something that you did not choose will be your scarlet letter. They will point, laugh and kick you when you are down. You will have to tell your story over and over to deaf ears and minds that are closed off to anything that is not their reality. You will have to develop a thick skin not only for the needles that you are poked with but against the needles that fly out of other mouths mocking you when you wobble down the street. Hold on to that heart of yours and the soul that smiles through the pain. You will need them to pick yourself up on days when no one else is around. People will tell you you are not good enough or smart enough because of the cloud of fog that engulfs your brain. Jobs will come and go once they see how sick you really are and how there is no longer room for you when your body falls a little short. Friends will tire of you and walk away and loved ones who promised to never leave dig out a one way ticket to anywhere but here. Life will not be easy and there will be days you kick and scream and throw fits you thought you left behind as a toddler. But do not worry because you are not alone.
Others will be going through the same trials as you. You will find that someone has already went through this years ago and can guide you along life with encouraging words and strength that you have yet to find in your young years of disease. Always remember that if today seems dark there will be sun again. If your loved ones have run away and left you behind look around and you will not only see that some remained but the ones that are still there with you are the strongest souls you could have ever wished for. You will find love from the most unassuming of places and hands will reach from the dark to help you only to later shed light on their faces. These faces will be your support group who will not only see you through today but will never leave your side tomorrow. They will remind you that you are worth every breath you take and that their lives are actually better because you are in it. You will discover your most inner strength that most will never uncover. After so many years you will finally have the courage to look in the mirror and you will see that the frail person you once saw is now replaced with an inspirational soul that no one will ever be able to kick around again. Until then, strap yourself in and hold on tight because it is going to be a bumpy ride.
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