My daughter...........

A letter to my daughter,

You are not even created yet but in my heart you have always existed. You have been the dream I have had before I even knew how to dream. We were destined to be connected forever and it is a connection that will never be separated by time, distance or even death. You will emanate all that is good from me and from you daddy. 

Your family is going to be odd......that is one promise I can make you. You will not be able to return to school after summer vacation and tell stories of lavish resorts and coastal towns. You will return to school full of back road adventures and blisters on your hands from helping others. You will see all that is good in this world from the seat of a truck and will leave your very own footprints in the dirt of the world. Memories that will fill your heart will be those taken off of the beaten path. You will see wonders that most people in this world will never see because you chose the path less traveled. You may lack in the number of times you were sun burnt hanging out at the pool but you will never be able to count your blessing on the total amount of fingers and toes you have.

I apologize now for the pain you will see me in not because you will feel sorry for your mommy but because you will see so many classic movies over and over again and will have hundreds of slumber parties with me on the days I can not get out of bed. There may be moments of your life I physically miss but I promise you will always know that I am there in your heart and will be waiting patiently for a summary of your life's events back at home. You are never to look at me with pitty in your eyes and most importantly you will never look at yourself in the mirror and feel sorry for yourself. You have been born into a strong family that always sees the glass half full and while we are at it, you even see it through rose colored lenses.

You may not have come into this family in the conventional way or maybe you have but no matter what you have been and always will be mine. We have a destiny together that will include nights rocking you to sleep, hundreds of books to be read by nightlight and snuggles that will never end. There will be moments you do not see. I promise to stand over your bed and marvel at your tiny fingers and the way your lips move in your sleep. I will watch from the car as you walk into school for the first time and I may not make it out of the parking lot before you finish for the day. I will do your hair for your first dance and I will keep your daddy on his best behavior so he doesn't embarrass you but I will not keep him from staying up until you walk back through the door safely. I better apologize now for your daddy's behavior on your first date......the gun may have been over the top but you must understand, it is a family tradition, just ask your cousins Lauren and Mia. There will come a day when I have to let you go but do not be afraid. You can always turn around and I will be one step behind you. Sometimes you will not want me behind you but you do not get a choice in that matter. It will drive you crazy and there will be late night calls to your Aunt Holly and talks with your daddy about how your mama drives you crazy and smothers you. Just accept it early on.......it will make it easier on both of us. 

I will watch you walk across the stage the day you graduate, down the isle the day you get married and through the from door when you start your family. I promise you I will teach you everything you need to know to survive through this life because life will be hard. It will knock you down only to hold its hand out to help you back up. Your heart will break and I wish I could protect you from this but you will be a better person because of your challenges you will face in your life. 

You will grow into a strong and independent women who will one day write a letter to the thought of her daughter. I hope that your journey through this world is filled with more good than bad and I promise when you are brought into this world it will be on a foundation made of love. I long to meet you and miss you before you are even gone. I have faith you will be here soon and will dance through my life twirling all along the way to the very beat of your own drum. Until then, I close my eyes and think of you. I see you with golden blond hair and blue eyes and a giggle that can be heard around the world. You have changed the course of my life already and have created a map only you can navigate me through. You are my only child......the love of my life and the one dream that will come true.

Love you before you were ever born......

Your Mommy