Time

I search the shelf for the perfect one. You know, the one you always find yourself going back to. One that calls to you deep in the dark night and in the stillness of a sunny day. Something that can take you back to where you have been just one more time. There it is. In the corner you reach in and pull it out. You swipe your fingers across the top and remove a small layer of dust. Has it been that long? It is here now and you walk to a place that holds you tight. The safety you feel in the moment before you open it, you pause, this moment......this pause......it is just for you and yourself. Before you begin you prepare your mind and body. It is time to feel the familiar and relinquish yourself to the past.

In one swift motion time has paused and flashes move swiftly before your eyes. Moments before and after are of no importance at this point. You search for that one piece of time that has collected a bit of dust but has not yet lost the power to transform. No image is needed because they have been permanently etched into your heart where they are kept for a lifetime of safe keeping. Time will not age, the past is never lost and the future is just that......the future, no room for it in the beautiful here and now of today.

My cheeks warm up to the touch as the sun grasps my face. The golden hues surrounding me is not a halo but the illusion of gold where light has intertwined with my hair. Every tiny toe grasps the cold damp grass and they hold on to the promise of a new day. Sweet smells fill my senses. I reluctantly release each tiny grasp my toes have on the world below and I leap through the summer day. I feel the scratches on my legs that can only come from the brushing of corn husks tall and strong. They curl around me as if they know that today they must protect me from the rest of the world. Over head a small plane grazes the horizon as it flies low to catch a glimpse of the field. They can go as low as then need to and my hiding place will never be discovered. I am safe. I am protected. I am innocent to the world around me.

Time passes quickly and the croaking of the toads and squeak of the crickets song slowly creeps in as the sun tip toes out. The sun blanketed field looses its light and is replaced with the magical glow of fire flies. The running stops and a night dance is performed for an audience of twinkling stars and the wind claps in approval as you take your final bow of the day. A memory has been made. Another moment in time is kept forever.

Slowly I close the moment and bring it to my chest. Inhale.......exhale. There is the empty slot that moments ago homed a moment in time. Slowly it finds it place back on the shelf. As I place it back I close my eyes for one more glance and the moment is gone. 

The present rushes back over me. Heaviness of years of fighting and struggling against an invisible looming shadow is felt once more. The movement is painful and it is time for another dose of medication. I open my eyes and look around. I am right where I was moments ago......in my bed, in my house and in my body that long ago lost the ability to dance with the fire flies. I slowly emerge from the safety of my bed with a beautiful heart that shelves novels written through a lifetime of dances, laughter and love. It is the only shelf in the world that is completely and irrefutably mine.