Someone very wise pointed out such a simple fact but one so many of us look over or even run from. The one constant in life is change itself. It is something we can always count on and must learn to accept. In his wise words he broke it down for me. We have two choices when faced with life altering change, we can either accept change and see the beauty it allows and grow from it or we can push back until we are forced into the abyss of change with a feeling of losing control. Either way change will knock on all of our doors numerous times throughout our lives. You get to decide how you will answer that door and address the change staring back at you.
A year ago I went through one of the biggest changes I have ever come up against in my thirty-five years. I was so afraid, uncertain and lost in a world I no longer recognized. There was no point in fighting because it was at the front door asking me to walk through and leave everything I had behind. Embracing this moment of change forced me to feel pain I never knew existed. I would experience a loss that would make me question everything I had known. I looked back and only saw the past and a door that had been closed and would never open again.
Moments went by and those moments turned into hours. Hours turned into days and before I knew it months had gone by. As I slowly began to heal internally I was able to feel the numbness disappear and it allowed me to open my heart back up to the possibility of loving once more and being loved back. Fear was replaced with silent wonder and once where tears fell a smile was reborn. Faith was once again found and love entered through the front door. Change allowed negativity to be replaced with laughter and once where dread lived a new found hope was discovered.
Now that the fear and pain has truly become a moment in my personal history and has been left in the past I have a new future beginning right in front of my eyes. I will soon take my first step as a new wife and look forward to the upcoming change in my own personal family dynamics. As I step towards my soon to be husband I realize this is also a side of change. A beautiful side that would never had been discovered had I not felt the fear and pain of a change that hurt beyond belief. The pain has allowed me to feel true love and commit my life to another.
As I reflect once more on the wise and honest words of my dear friend I am reminded that had I not embraced change even with all the pain I would not be in the moment I find myself in today. I had to feel the deepest sorrow and sadness in an overwhelming darkness to truly see the light of hope. Every moment of everyday is filled with joy and I feel a stronger sense of self knowing that whatever change life will continue to hand me I am a strong and beautiful survivor of moments of uninterrupted change wave after wave. I am no longer afraid of opening that door when change comes knocking.Instead of opening the door in complete fear on what could possibly be I shall open the door, stick out my tongue, giggle and dance to the beat of the ever changing drum on my very little tippy toes!
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