My Wish For You

My dearest of friends.........

The pain can be seen on the surface but felt to your core. It shakes every nerve in your body awake. You move in and out of the dream you left behind and prepare for the road ahead. You begrudgingly pack your life up using a mental checklist. This is mine, this was mine, this never will be mine. Take a moment and bask in the sadness. Take it in and let it scratch your heart so the pain you feel is real. Slowly come out of the fog and plan.......plan for tomorrow leaving behind today. Today is almost gone and tomorrow.......tomorrow is the time to heal. 

Please do not call it a heartbreak.......name it for what it truly is........a heartache. Heartbreak leaves shards of brokenness in a path that scares away passage. Heartache hurts but it is mendable in time. It is something you come to and heal from only to continue on your journey. It stops you in your tracks and takes your breath away but by no means disables your growth, self discovery and future love. Today you are clouded by the past. It engulfs you everywhere you turn and you taste it in the air you breathe. Reminders of what may have been but will never be. You may be scratched but you are not scarred. You will heal through discovery.........discovering who you are with the new space that surrounds you. The new freedom of personal choice is upon you. Choose wisely.

I see you. In front of me stands beauty in its most basic form. Raw, naked ad exposed. Strength has fallen of  in layers and vulnerability stands for all the world to see. I see you. In the darkest moments I still see your light. It fills me with hope and joy. I know it is there even when you question it. I see you. I see a fighters soul and lovers heart. No one will cripple you with their choices and decisions they make. Their choices are not and will never be yours. You have a pure heart with mistakes written all over it. Those mistakes will allow your heart to grow even more than you think is possible. 

Everyday I will remind you of your beauty and worth. Something that has fallen to the waste side over the years. You will close your eyes knowing that this love was not meant to be forever just for right now. Something bigger, better and brighter waits for you on the other side. Take your time getting there. Slow down and feel the sun as it starts to warm your cheeks reminding you once more that you are alive. Smile towards the sun with your eyes closed and feel time move past your skin as the sun sets preparing you for tomorrow. Allow the light to guide you through the moments you find yourself lost in. Allow it to light the room so you can look in the mirror and see the woman, who in fact, is still standing.

You have been given a new building block to add to your foundation. It will help to stabilize the ground that has not stopped shaking yet. Soon it will slow to a lull and eventually the stillness and quiet will be a much needed rest for your weary heart and soul. You will be exhausted but not defeated. Remember you are not broken even though today you may ache.

Everyone comes into our lives with the ability to make an impact. We get to allow the amount of pain, sorrow or joy they leave us with. Take the laughter, love and memories and look toward the horizon because better days are now on their way. 

A Year

1 year.....12 months......365 days......8,760 hours.......525,600 minutes.......31,536,000 seconds......a single year can define a life, take a soul and start us on a journey that will last a lifetime. I have seen the sunrise, crawled through days of exhaustion and bore witness to a heart felt within now walking outside of myself. New beginnings were created, traditions rose from the ashes and time was the healer of everything painful. I have seen life. I have watched my life as an individual fade into the abyss of yesterday. Rebirth was felt and purpose restored. A new balance was created and normalcy has been changed forever. A journey has begun and I see the future so clearly bathed in the soft glow of love, truth and breathtaking beauty.

The giggles that fill the empty space within our home has restructured time. Personal space no longer exists. A new shadow is cast in the light of day. The tininess that has caused a ripple effect in life has encompassed my heart. Her tiny fingers that reach for my hand holds my entire world. As she moves through the house learning to roll, sit, crawl and now walk days melt into weeks and weeks into months. You blink and an entire year has ran past you taking away with it so many firsts and reminding you of so many more to come. 

New meaning comes to words such as patience, friendships, family and love. There seems to be so much more definition in everyday moments. The sun wakes you as it does everyday. The daily routine starts but by the end of the day something miraculous has happened. You record first words, foods and movements. An everyday moment changes your life and you celebrate as if it is the best day everyday. Everyday is a gift with so much more to give than the days that came before. 

This last year has shown me dark days and bright nights. I have found faith in everyday heroes. I have embarked on a new adventure in self discovery.  My heart has had to let go little bits at a time to allow for independence to flourish. What a joy everyday brings waking up and following the path of life with this beautiful tiny soul. This new season of life changes the landscape you walk upon. You want to tiptoe so silently hoping to not disturb the passing of time for it moves so quickly and left in its path are memories to last a lifetime.

Purpose and beauty is not something you chase after. Running from life does not make you brave......it makes you lost. Dig your heels in and open your heart. See the beauty in the grass you grow, the family you love and the joy of today.  Happiness is not something you find, it is already surrounding you you just have to look up from where you want to go and truly see just right where you are at.