Sadness and Joy

As much as we try to shelter ourselves and busy ourselves with the upcoming holiday you can not help but to notice a change in the world as we know it. From a sense of sadness and uncertainty that gripped each and every one of us on Friday as the news came in, we were left stunned as a nation gripping with the realization that our tiniest members are not always sheltered from the ugliness waiting for them outside of our loving embrace. It is the happiest time of the year for so many and slowly grief fell on us as a country and covered our joy with sadness. 

Most of us are not mourning for the loss personally because we have not lost someone we love but we are mourning with the thoughts of the little ones we still get to love. Some feel guilt that as the new year rolls in. A new year full of firsts, laughter and love with their children is at the front door waiting to be let in. How did they get so lucky and how devastated would we be had the roles been reversed? 

Friday night all I could think about was my little princess Lauren. Her smiling face that is speckled with baby deer spots (her freckles) and how her voice and laughter is so innocent and full of hope and her blues eyes shine so bright every moment of everyday! She was just a little younger than the precious children affected by this tragedy and next year she will be entering Kindergarten. I allowed myself for one moment to think about what would life be like if her bright light was blown out before any of us were ready. My heart broke and my breath was stolen from my chest. I remembered the last hug I gave her and how I wiped her tears as I left for Arizona. I thought of all the stories I have read to her and how there are so many more out there to share with my little red head angel and her beautiful baby sister Mia. I knew in that moment that I was lucky because my life with Lauren and Mia has really just begun and I still have time and magical moments to share with them! They will ride their first roller coaster (I think Mia will cry like her Aunt Danica), try so many flavors of ice cream and will be able to experience the joys of growing up and I will be there to cheer them along the entire way! 

I thought of Suzette and how she goes into a school building every morning with the hope of touching a little ones life. She leaves her life behind every day so that she can educate the doctors,  lawyers and future teachers of our world. She loves them unconditionally even when they have naughty streaks. I can not say that she would give her life if she was faced with this situation because she already has.....every moment of everyday when she enters her classroom. She not only has four kids of her own but has twenty five new ones every fall. Those are her children just as much as we are and the love that is poured out everyday is what changes lives and our world. 

We will continue to feel sad and question why and be thankful that almost all of us have been spared and our families will be together. We also must celebrate the joy that our most innocent loves bring to our lives. I want them to stay young for as long as they can. I want them to be protected from the anger and confusion we see so many times as adults. Let us all celebrate the gift of life....young and old and let us remember that there is eternal beauty in all of our homes and hearts and that is the most powerful gift we can share during one of the most difficult times our nation faces and during one of the most magical times for the millions of little ones still embraced in our hearts.