I have been huddled into a corner for so long and now a hand has emerged from the far distant light I can only see when I squint. I reluctantly take the hand with the hope that this hand will lead me to truth, life and love. I weightlessly hold my breath as time moves slow and the future continues to unfold. Where there was once fear and sadness is hope and laughter. Where the thought of time moving forward left me crumbled on the floor in a puddle of what used to be me I now stand tall and whole again not as I was before but how I should be now.
I have stepped out of my past and into the arms of my future. These arms are strong and powerful. When wrapped around me I am safe from the outside world and even feel a sense of safety from myself. I feel overpowered by the love that is emanated from the heart that now beats for me and longs to see me when I am not there. I am made to feel beautiful when my body is whispering words of ugliness into my ears. The pain resonates in his heart due to the momentary defeat Lupus covers me in and he aches for me during the muffled cries of pain that can be heard when looking deep into my eyes, coming face to face with my soul. I am complete just as I am with the patched work of my past seen all over my body. These patches make me who I am and made me into the women he has grown to love oh so very much.
His love has challenged me in ways I could never have imagined. My whimsical way of looking at the world and twirling through everyday brings him out of his box and into the chaos only known as Danica's World. I look at him and see myself in his eyes and know that in front of me stands my future and I can not believe it was waiting for me all of this time. It patiently waited over the years as my heart prepared for this love. I would never go back and do anything different due to the fearful consequences that could result from one moment of change. I will take my scrapes and scratches because the hands that now heal me are the most gentle and kind hands I have ever felt.
When a moment in time stops and we must choose to step forward we can not make the step without taking a piece of our past with us. In our hearts and souls we wish that new beginnings would truly be new and the pain from the past would not flow ever so gently under the closed door into the present. The best we can do is close our eyes and step into the light of today thankful to have another's hand to hold and hope for the best in our tomorrows. For I am not perfect, he is not perfect but together perfection can exist.
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