The Forest

It has been a year since I ventured into the overgrown forest. I was drawn to the darkness and simple silence that allowed me to clear my head. I was looking for a place to gather myself and stay until I could emerge whole again. I wandered in one October night and hit the ground so hard. I crumpled into the fetal position and found myself face to face with the moss that found a way to grow out of the harsh, dark and hostile forest ground. It was so soft to the touch and in the distance I could hear my voice reassuring myself that if this tiny bit of life can grow here then surely I can also grow back to myself. I positioned myself silently still and watered the ground below my face with a flood of tears and sorrow. I moaned as the pain took me away with it and yelled out words of hatred in heart breaking agony. 

Hours passed into days and those days merged into weeks that eventually rolled into months. I was tortured emotionally as I was coaxed out of the woods and into a clearing on stolen promises that would break with each step I took. The only truth that gave me comfort was knowing that I had found my special dark place that would shelter me from sight allowing me to ignore the ever present voice on the other side of the clearing. Finally after all the fight had been drained from my soul I found my way back to the place where my moss continued to grow and I curled up to it one last time in the dark forest that would now become my home. 

A year has come and gone. I am emerging with small steps a bit better but not whole just yet; however, I make progress everyday. I am healing a little at a time and positive thoughts seem to come at me from every corner of my life. Where there was darkness I have found small rays of sunshine that break through the canopy above. I have been in this position for a year and have felt the winter chill through my bones, found wild flowers strewn on the floor of the forest during spring time and embraced the summer rains. Now as the trees shed their leaves and prepare for another winter I have shed my own fears and leave my sorrow and pain in the forest. The darkness no longer protects me but hides me and I am not one to be hid. 

It is time to take a step into the clearing and walk the long and winding path back to the home within my heart. I now prepare for new beginnings as I have left the past behind. I welcome the winter months with new love that warms my heart and soul. It is a moment I never thought would find me and now that it has I feel ready to dance into tomorrow.  Sadness will find ways to creep into my mind but the utter wonder of what is still to come pushes it to the side and the sting is a little less harsh this time around.