Fight Song

Once in a great while a song will come to me and I wrap my entire self in it. I can see the end and the beginning. A song that encompasses my entire heart and places me at exactly where I am in life. I grew up with music in my life. As a small child I fell asleep to the sounds of my dad's band playing in the background. I could hear the bass and I allowed it to lull me to sleep. Music has continued to set the soundtrack of my life. I have a song set to the memory of my first kiss, the music I had to dance to as a cheerleader and of course, the song I recently walked down the isle to meat my husband. Happy moments and devastating moments. I let the music guide me through celebrations and through times of mourning. 

Over the last few years life has sent me reeling in so many different directions. Doors have closed on some of my darkest years. I was forced to open the window of life and crawl through just to limp to the other side. I refused defeat and believed in who I was and still am. I trained my heart that once lived in a constant state of breaking to believe that I am loved and can be loved forever. I went through hospital visits filled with anger and guilt to holding a constant hand. The positive lining that had circled the clouds finally shown completely through to reveal a beautiful rainbow. 

Tonight I share the song that guided me before I even heard it. I share it with my Lupus family. We start the fight every morning before our tootsie toes kiss the ground beneath our bed. We pick battles internally that most will never find themselves up against. Individually we are scared but together we are set to make a difference in the course of the disease we fight. We are history in the making.

To those of us who must struggle to create this magical miracle in our lives, I carry you with me everyday. As tears fall in disappointment there are tears of joy shared with many as their journey has come to an end. This instills that hope that encourages us to try one more time month after month. Remember, everything worth having are things we must work for.

Sit back and close your eyes and find your inner fight song!