Onward We Go

I am thrown into the ring once more. Life is on one side while I am set up to dodge everything it decides to throw my way. Auto-immune issues are coming from the right, fatigue throws a punch from behind and throws me to the ground! Finally, coming from the left, the hardest punch of all is felt as it settles in the pit of my stomach. Another seventy days of trying come to an end. I brace for the inevitable sense of frustration, disappointment and the overwhelming sense of sadness. June comes to an end and we are still just a party of two. 

I may not have a little bambino on the way yet but I have learned a lot about myself over the last seventy days, well, I would say the last six months. My basal temperature has shown me that I may not always be on time but I still arrive at the final destination. Poor Greg has also learned that I become a ball of tears that are not controlled by anything rational! With this new tidbit of information he still puts up with me and wants our family to begin soon. He takes me for the occasional milkshake and spends hours a week helping me work things out through physical and mental exercise.

The most important lesson I have learned during this time is to find inner grace and thankfulness through all phases of life. In order to move through this life we must embrace change and not fight against it. Change is a constant in all of our lives. Fighting against it will result in the same outcome but through a much more tumultuous storm, one you may find yourself going through alone. 

As I prepare for the sharp edges of ever changing emotions over the next week and a new sense of purpose for the upcoming months, I would like to take some time to reflect on what is good in my life. So many of us move to fast and do not stand still enough to absorb everyday joy. Right now I am planting my feet heavily in the dry desert dirt and taking a moment to reflect on all that is beautiful and all that is right at this one moment in my life. I hold steady and I am prepared to brace myself for yet another round of never ending growth from continuous change that life always seems to throw my way.