Dirt

Today was a very hard day. It wasn't a hard day in terms of physical pain but it was a heartbreaking day none the less. Today I had to drive away from Tim and leave him in Albuquerque and come home to our home without him again. You would think this task would become a bit easier and less heartbreaking every time you do it but it doesn't. It actually gets harder. Distance makes the heart grow fonder......or something like that, the saying goes. That makes me laugh inside......distance just makes the heart break!

Packing the final few things this morning as Tim slept was a moment of silence before the storm. Quietly waking him to tell him I am ready to leave is still the one thing I find so hard to do. To find the words and then actually speak them is difficult. You know these few simple words will define the hours after you say them. You know you have to leave and you know you have to say goodbye. How is it that one simple word can make such a difference in your day.......goodbye. There is nothing good that comes from this word and two people are left alone after this word is spoken. To me this word tells me it is time to carry on with your life as an individual and find your place without the one you love for right now. Tim and I are lucky and we know this separation is such a small moment in time even though it feels enormous on our hearts. It is what we have to do for our future and it is a sacrifice we make today for a better life tomorrow. 

The drive from Albuquerque to Phoenix is about seven hours and some of the drive is interesting and beautiful and some of it is through the flattest desert I have ever seen! It gives you a lot of time to quietly think to yourself and gather your thoughts and wrap your mind around them. Today I thought of Tim and I and our life together. I played a little game.......I had to think of a word, one word, that embodied who Tim and I are together. The word I came up with was DIRT. Now wait, there is always a great story behind a great love so let me explain and in the end you will nod your head yes.........dirt is perfect!

Tim and I met through a mutual friend. I had to pick up his key so she could check his male while he was out of town. I knocked.......he answered......and here we are almost six years later. We talked on the phone every night after that chance meeting and I was waiting very anxiously for him to come back so we could spend more time together.......it kind of sounds like right now!!!!! I remember he was back in Phoenix towards the end of the week. He called and asked if I would like to go on an adventure. He asked if I would like to go off roading and up to a historic town to have a hamburger and a beer. I had never off roaded before but I thought to myself why not. I love it outside and I find the desert beautiful and this fun guy wants to explore it........win win for me!!!!!!! My mama wasn't on the same page and was worried about me going off in the desert with a stranger......I have to admit looking back anything could have happened!!!!!! 

We left on a Saturday morning. I remember hitting dirt and feeling the first bump and it was so much fun! You would see a corner ahead but at your eye level it was brush and so you had no idea what was around the next turn and every time you turned you found something to get excited about and you could not wait for the next one! We left a cloud of dust behind us and the windows were down and the sun was shining and we were having so much fun!!!!! We made it to Crown King after hours on this dirt road and even to this day we think to ourselves that bar in the middle of nowhere has the best food based on the adventure you have before you get there!!!!!! We got home on Sunday covered in dirt and as we pulled into town Tim looked over at me and said lets make salsa.....you are coming over for dinner. It wasn't a question just a statement and I said lets do it! 

Lets do it has been the answer to every question.....almost every question! That love of the dirt inspired the last six years of our lives! I have been the navigator in a desert race and yes, I wore a fire suit and a helmet that had oxygen pumped through it!!!!! We have spent a week on dirt in Baja camping, just the two of us! It has taken us off the beaten path through Utah and we discovered our favorite place in Colorado! We have almost seen all of Arizona and not the touristy places most people go. Yes, we have been to the Grand Canyon but we went off the beaten path and camped right on the edge with no bars, no tourists and no clicking of a camera. It was the most beautiful moment and a moment when you realize you are so tiny in this enormous place we call home! We have spent Thanksgiving in Tucson and our goal on the way home was to NOT hit pavement! We have seen a helicopter land on the border and saw one of the first established border crossings. Someone once told me they thought we were so weird for spending our free time in the dirt............I looked at her and I explained it to her, we see things that 99% of the population will NEVER see because we chose to take the road less traveled.

Choosing to take this road not only allowed me to meet my love but I now know true beauty in nature. We have also been so lucky to have met the family of friends we have made over all the bumps and through dust clouds!  We have met friends who define the words hard work. We have met friends who define the word determination. We have met friends who have brought us closer to nature by knowing more that we do. We have truly built a life in the dirt. A life that connects Tim and I. A life that connects us to our chosen family of friends and this life continues to connect the past to our future.

This life will be passed on to our children. They will grow up knowing that beauty is not only found at spas and resorts and places you pull out on the side of the road......true beauty is when you stumble across something you know no one else will see. They will appreciate the past that has created this and respect the future enough to leave it just as it is. They will learn that dirt is not something you avoid and rinse off at the end of the day. Dirt holds the true story of our surroundings and in this dirt they will also find a story of a great love.

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