One of my favorite projects in school involved something as simple as a letter and a balloon. In grade school the teacher had taught us about pen pals. Pen pals??? As a kid I had no idea what that that was but my teacher told us about having friends you had never met and sending letters back and forth!!!!! I was a little hesitant about this because another reason to write??? I think my teacher had an ulterior motive when it came to this pen pal thing! So, one day she brought in a massive amount of balloons! We wrote our information on a small piece of paper and she tied each one to a single balloon, mine was red. After lunch we went out and she handed us our balloons. She told us to be patient as she passed out each and every one. Yeah right, patience in grade school, that is like telling a dog to not eat a treat that sits in front of him!!!! We all did our best and in the blink of an eye she yelled let go!
I can still remember watching my red balloon get smaller and smaller as it went higher and higher! After we let go I felt the excitement in my stomach and focused all my thoughts on that one balloon. I just kept thinking go little balloon go! I wanted a pen pal and that balloon was my key to finding one! I remember thinking about it for a long time after that.........in grade school years, a few days. Finally one of my classmates received a letter from someone who had found their balloon! Everyday I would watch as more letters came in to my surrounding classmates and how I would just wish for one letter......just one! Finally when all hope was almost lost on my red balloon I received my letter!!!! What makes me laugh to this day is that letter I had wished for for so long, I don't remember it and I did not hang on to it.....I can not even tell you what grade I was in. What I do remember is that red balloon and the the words spoken by my teacher..........let go.
Today I was seen by an ENT at Mayo Clinic here in Phoenix. She was a wonderful doctor with an amazing bed side manner. She made me laugh end even let a little secret out, it was my nurses birthday! I thought to myself as she pushed a camera through my nose this doctor will answer my wish!!!! She would be my red balloon! After all, I have seen over eight doctors since the second week of June. Every doctor I see runs the tests and I stump them! They then think about what they could not see and send me to the next specialist. This is not necessarily a bad thing and what I love most about Mayo is that every doctor is intertwined by their computer system. You don't have to carry files upon files of your medical history and you don't have to wait for the tapes of your scans.......it is all there! There for each and every specialist to pull up and examine. Questions answered before they are even asked! It is actually brilliant and I think it is what makes places like Mayo so special.
Well, my amazing, wonderful bed side manner ENT was not my red balloon. She was a bright spot in this process but had no answers for me today. It is so hard when you get your hopes up. Someone who experiences pain and illness on a daily basis wants the answer....they want a miracle and sometimes those miracles just don't make it to them. You have to just let go sometimes. You have to throw your hands up in the air and say ok, I am letting go and what will be will be. You make a choice that enough is enough and walk out of the doctors office with your head held high and move on.
This is not something they only tell people who are ill, it is a lesson that we learn in every aspect of our lives. You may be letting a relationship go or anger and resentment you have. You may be letting a loved go after a long battle with sickness. You may be letting friends go as distance separates you. It may even be as simple as letting go of being on time! Letting go is a part of our lives. It allows each of us to grow. You learn lessons when you let things go and you learn what you are made of and how strong you are. Right now my mama is having to let go of an old family friend. He has had an amazing life and an amazing love. My dad had to let go of his mama last year. She had been so sick for so long and fought everyday of her life but it was time and he let her go.
Today I did not receive my letter. My doctor did not have any answers for me today. I will be seeing another specialist. That will make the count for individual doctors nine after October. I am frustrated and battling with the unknown. I must let go. I have let go of that red balloon and today was not the day but I can still see it floating higher and higher! I will wish for it to makes it way into the right hands and I know one day I will wake up, walk into a specialist and they will have my answers. They will have found my red balloon.
https://www.wepay.com/donations/danica-s-doctor-delima
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