The coordinates tell us we are close and the clues we read over and over leave us filled full of excitement, it's a scavenger hunt for grown ups! One that allows us to search at night with no curfew or bed time hanging over our heads. Of course we have to get up with the sun but it is far to much fun not to go to bed with the moon. The ones that came before led us to seek even more. On the top of a mountain I climbed, I ruffled around a power box and chased the setting summer sun to a fountain in the middle of Oldtown. You may think that there must have been a great reward waiting for us or a clue to something even greater but I must stop you there. At the top of the mountain was a little book and lots of tiny trinkets others have left in their wake. Behind the power box was a magnet that lead us to giggles at how silly we felt but also the complete wonder at how something so simple could take us back to being so young. Treasures left by others only to be added to with passing time. A memory from the past that I continue to take with me in the future.
As time marches on and life speeds by I find it harder to stop and find the childlike sense of wonder in our everyday world. There are times I am left wondering as I wrestle with sleep what moved me today.......what inspires me and what about tomorrow still ignites unimaginable hope and curiosity in this ever aging soul?
I find the answer in the question posed. It is the hope and beauty in the future that draws us in. There is a constant reminder of who we were when the world was an open book of endless possibilities and paths less traveled. In a life where giving up would seem so easy and no one would criticize due to your daily struggle with pain and reoccurring heartbreak, the end of the tunnel still beckons with a beautiful kaleidoscope of color. It pulls you back out from the grasp of what originally pushed you in.
I knew the true prison of being drawn from the kaleidoscope of life for far to long. The darkness that drew me in during those final moments left me always needing more light to grow. I never knew true color until I lived in true sadness. Today with every twist of fates hand the beauty of life is spread out in front of me begging for me to take its hand and dance with the winds of change. It is an insight that can not be contained. Lupus showed up and forced my heart and soul to truly change the way the world was seen. I have accepted this beautiful gift with the true cost being something no one would choose to pay.
I have wrapped my kaleidoscope in a perfect little box. I have stored it in my heart for safe keeping until it is time to share once more with tiny eyes filled with childlike wonder. There it will stay until the day my miracle finds me.
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