Survivor

The time has come much sooner than I expected. As my legs start to plant themselves firmly in reality I am faced with the choice to once more step away from everyday life in the pursuit of hope. Time has slowly begun to heal my soul and piece back together my broken heart. I now must decide if I am whole enough once more to be vulnerable enough to break again. 

In the deepest corners of my sadness it felt as though time crawled. My broken heart lingered within my body as I physically healed. The distant future held hope that I could not even take my mind to. Time was my best friend and worst enemy. It slipped through my hands like sand and slowly enough for me to count each miniscule granule. 

As hours moved forward and night continued to turn to day I embraced the slow moving time as a gift. I loved my casual Sunday pace of everyday life. I could lose myself in moments that may have been rushed. I was empowered to embrace the times of sorrow as well as embrace the times of joy. Life did not rush me. I found myself soaking in the sun on warmer days. As the trees bloomed I smelled the sweet joy of another season passing. Life was alive and finally I was awake.

Over the last few weeks I have been reminded of how beautiful yet fragile life is. It crashes onto the shores until the moment it is drawn back out. It is in constant motion and is forever evolving. Today is on the brink of becoming the past and tomorrow will be our present in the blink of an eye. Hope lives here now and pushes me beyond what I thought was humanly possible. I am a survivor in every sense of the word.

I don't know what is going to happen in this life but I see the possibilities. I know that if I fall once more there are many hands and hearts to help me back up. I am not alone and recognizing that love alone can carry you through the dark is enough for me to place my hope in the light.