I HATE PREDNISONE!!!!!! What is really bad about this drug is that it does actually make you feel better but the side effects are horrible!!!!!! When I am on prednisone I will get hot flashes in the middle of the night and actually sweat through my clothes......yuck! I never feel full and the water weight is terrible!!!!!! One thing I have learned about medication is that most of the time the best ones for your disease are the most horrible for your body. Oh, and everything causes cancer.
One of the largest adjustments I have made over the years is the weight gain and drop from medications all the way to being caused by the disease itself. I have had to be on prednisone off and on since the beginning of the year. Since January I have gained at least 15 pounds! I feel like a walking water ball that sloshes back and forth when you shake it!!!!! I imagine my body makes a blurping noise whenever I go up and down the steps.......blurp......blurp......blurp!!! Tim will tickle me and make me laugh and the whole time I am yelling.......you are tickling my wobbly bits and that is NOT a sexy term I have made up!!! So between the blurping sloshy sound and the wobbly bits that wiggle and jiggle how is anyone supposed to have a positive thoughts about their body????
This weekend was Tim's going away party and we live in Phoenix Arizona. It is sooooo hot here!!!!! Everyone claims it is a dry heat BUT 125 degrees is HOT regardless of dry or humid!!!! I grew up in Ohio and so I understand humidity and I have been in Phoenix for 10 years. HOT IS HOT!!!!! Back to my story.......I was trying to decide what to wear to the party and I tried on shorts after shorts......capris after capris.....pants after pants and so on. NOTHING fit and if it fit even a little bit it was uncomfortable after a very short period of time. It was miserable and internally humiliating. I didn't want to by anything new but I also knew that sock monkey pajama pants were really not appropriate for a party. I compromised with my body......if you suffer through a few hours in shorts that pinched then I could change into pajama pants when the sun went down. That is what I did! When I put those pajama pants on my body sighed in relief.....it was comfy!!!!!
I know what I need to do is kick up the activity level and eat healthier ESPECIALLY when I am on prednisone BUT, as anyone with a chronic illness knows, there are those days when you would love to be doing any type of physical activity if it just did not hurt as bad as it does. I have moments when just walking downstairs to the kitchen hurts so bad that I choose to stay upstairs in my cocoon all day and eat very accessible foods (cereal). I don't want to stand up for long periods of time to cook. There are times my joints on my fingers are so swollen and sore I can not even grasp the steering wheel of my car....I am not going to cut up fruits and veggies!
One thing I can do to make a positive change in my life is to accept that there will be times when weight is put on and times when the weight just falls off. Regardless, I can change the way I perceive my body. People who look at me may not feel the same way. They may say that I am toooooo skinny or I have put on the pounds and I have to remember that is their issue and as long as I know that I am ok and that I am beautiful just the way I am.....no one else can make me feel bad about myself except me. So, tomorrow when I am deciding what I am going to wear I may decide on pajama pants because inside they make my body sigh with comfortable relief!
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