Dear Danica,
Today you turned sixteen and there is so much I want to tell you about the life you have ahead and what you can expect. These are some of the freest and most impressionable times you will ever experience. Take a moment right now and close your eyes. Click.......start there with your first image locked into your heart and lets step forward.
You are about to feel a loss that will forever change who you are and shake the foundation you thought was so safe. In a matter of days you will no longer feel invincible as you do at this one moment in time. Death will touch you on the nose ever so gently and bring you to your knees. She will leave the world early in the morning and you will wish you had done so many things different. You will hug her goodbye and you will never hear her voice, dance in her room or sneak clothes into the car just so you can spend the night. You will want to stay in for the summer, afraid to get into a car but go, she would want you to live your life. Laugh and cry as you go through her room and picture that beautiful smile framed with her brown curly hair. You will no longer want to just please your parents but her own. You are a daughter to them. They will never leave your life and will remain constant. That is one thing you can count on. You will loose her but you will not loose them. Remember her in smiles because that is how she will remember you.
Hang on tight to your friends, yes, those four that never leave your side and are up for anything at anytime. The five of you are so different but those differences help to sand the fine edges of your soul and fill your heart with what was once lacking. Sneak out on the warm nights of summer from the basement of Joy's house and run through the yard and down the dirt road. Sit and talk for hours as you all swear you hear someone coming. It is worth the chance of getting caught because those moments will carry you through some lonely times later in life. Many will tell you that once you graduate your friends disappear but within those friendships you find true soul mates. Time will pass and you will watch them grow. Be there for them to talk to and they will never leave your side even if you live thousands of miles away. Distance will part you but time stands still for all of you and life is beautiful because they taught you your first lessons in love. One tip.........REMEMBER THEIR BIRTHDAYS!!!!!
You are one busy bee! Between drill team, cheer leading and just running wild through corn fields you may forget to appreciate those moments. As you twirl on the field, shimmy those pompoms feel the moments under those Friday night lights. Take as much time as you need to understand that this moment will never come around again. Your body will age faster than you anticipate and the movements that come so easy now will be a struggle sooner than you think. You are free from the changes that are bound to come and nothing we do today will change that path. Enjoy the days and nights and smell the honeysuckle after a storm. Shiver in the first crisp breeze of fall and make those snow angels until your hearts content. You will have an amazing night on a snowmobile. Open your eyes and do not fear the bumps!
The little town you are so anxious to leave, well, you will leave. Do not get to excited yet because you will then spend the rest of your life trying to find that place called home in your heart. Take the small town values to the big city lights and shine just as you are. Do not be ashamed of where you are from or the family that waits for you to return. If someone does not accept them or the Midwest girl that strangers are drawn to do not think twice because they are not worth your time or your heart.
Smile everyday! You will be voted best smile in a few years so let the entire world see it as you dance through life. Oh, and you will dance! People will remember you waltzing into their lives and twirling out of them like the sweet breeze of spring. Be proud of that aspect of your personality because it will allow you to see the world through extraordinary eyes. The future pain will bring clarity to the world around you and where one sees sadness you will see hope. Anger does not haunt you and forgiveness is given even before it is asked for. Others will stand behind you trying to see the world from your point of view and they will be afraid when they don't. You will challenge many but only a few will stay. That is ok because in those few you will find your forever family.
The way you see the world will draw others in and leave them trying to put their finger on something that they just can not pin down. Never let anyone pin you down. Love with all of your heart every chance you get. Kiss your first love as much as you can because it will not last and you will grow up and set out on your own. While finding yourself in the world you may feel lost, abandoned and forgotten but you are always on someone's mind. Your heart will break many times over and I wish I had more words of encouragement but it will just be something you will have to cry through and pick yourself back up because you are a beautiful, strong woman. During these moments you will feel as if you will never be able to put yourself back together but you will. With each crack in your heart a lesson will be taught and one after the other you will realize who is right for you and who is there to hurt you. Be strong and even though it hurts leave your heart open and do not wrap it up because the sting of today will result in the joy of tomorrow.
I have to break it to you ever so gently........mom is always right and everything she tells you, you will understand in the future. I know you will not believe me at this exact moment but go a little easy on her because raising two girls in high school is not easy and we give her a run for her money. Stay in a few extra nights and visit daddy and Suzette more. Dave will teach you how to ice fish and in that simple mundane moment on a dark winter day a light will be lit in your heart and the outdoors will become where you will want to be later in life. Love your sisters and brothers like you will never see them again. There will be times years will go by and the faces that resemble your own are the ones you see the least and miss the most so please memorize everything about them so your heart can hold on to them even when you are far out in the middle of the desert.
You are smarter than you think and stronger than you have ever imagined. Milestones may take longer to reach but when you reach them celebrate like no one is watching. At that moment stop right there and close your eyes. Click........another beautiful image is added to your ever flowing heart of images taken along the path of your amazingly, beautiful and strong life you have created for you and only you.
Love always,
The Older You
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