Wow........is this week over yet?!?!?!?!?! I guess my week, I should say our week (Rachael) started Sunday morning. I was staying with some friends, Krya and Brandt, and that is something I really like to do when I am unable to be with Tim. This stay was so much fun because there were two pups in the house and a seven month old baby, Baby Austin!!!!! All three things listed I adore!!!!!!! Brandt was leaving the country so it was going to be just us girls fending for ourselves with a house full of pups and baby laughter. I had to miss out on a lot on the first half of Austin's life because I was so sick all the time. I finally felt well enough to hang out and relax with Krya throughout the week........or so I thought.
Over the last six months I have been going through so much testing at the Mayo Clinic. I was being seen for my Lupus, chronic cough and anything else that popped up over the course of the testing and as I saw doctor after doctor. I finally felt that over the last month we were headed in the right direction. I was still frustrated with the findings week after week but I had this need to have control over my life again.
Something that I had to stop doing over the last year was riding my bike. I would normally get up at 5:30am and I would ride until about 6:15am and head off to work but when I started having reoccurring infections my bike was set in the garage not to be bothered again for sometime. It broke my heart and a bit of my soul to say goodbye to the sunrise filled mornings when the air was crisp filling me with life every time I took a breath. I always knew I would be back to riding as soon as I felt better but I could not foresee the upcoming year and the struggle my body would endure.
Finally, after over a year I jumped back on my bike about three weeks ago and felt like me again! The sun would rise as I rode and the end of summer is found in the first few crisp moments of the day. I was back! I felt as if I was finally gaining control of my life! The doctors could continue to give me the run around but I was the boss of my life! I was riding every morning, doing a little cardio mid day and tying it all together with yoga before bed! I was visiting my friends more, I was volunteering with my friend Jessica and I even went to the movies with Rachael!!!! I felt normal, as normal as I could possibly feel!!!!
This past Sunday I woke up and rode my bike while Krya and Austin took Brandt to the airport. I went back to bed after my ride and woke up not breathing very well. I sat up in bed for a little bit and then sat on the floor trying to focus on my breathing hoping it would get stronger and this panicking feeling would subside. Finally I went downstairs and told Krya I was not breathing well and I needed to go to the emergency room. I would not let Krya take me to the emergency room with Baby Austin! So, I got in the car and called Rachael and Tim to let them know where I was headed. I finally gave in against my stubbornness and asked Rachael if she would meet me there so I wouldn't be alone.
After many hours in the emergency room and after so many tests had been ran the doctors discovered I had pneumonia in the upper left lobe of the lung. I was immediately started on intravenous antibiotics, two bags of fluid and pain medicine that made me feel MUCH better!!!!! I was sent home with the strongest cough syrup I have ever had and a ten day dose of antibiotics. I settled into bed and just waited to feel better! Most of you know that this waiting is like watching paint dry, it can never happen soon enough!
I thought after Sunday's ordeal I was out of the woods and on the road to recovery. This morning I woke up very tired and had to go see my own doctor to follow up with the hospital findings. The doctor listened to my chest and told me I needed to go back into the emergency room. He would prefer them to admit me for at least a day for observation but there was no way I was going to go down that road!!!!!! I did go to the emergency room to make him happy and of course I called Rachael and guess who was waiting there for me when I got there.......Miss Rachael!!!!! I looked at her and I told her Sunday must not have been fun enough for the two of us so we would try harder this time!!!!!
Time passed and finally I was being released. They were actually able to identify where the pneumonia was by the chest x-ray today. I was given lots of fluids and the good pain meds again. I settled back into bed and fell a sleep just wishing I would wake up better but I am realistic and I know that is something that will take a little more work this time around.
Tonight I have to try to sleep sitting up and every once in a while I find myself worrying about my breathing. Normally I have Tim with me and that safe feeling is there even if I don't recognize it. This is a bit different and I find myself nervous when it comes to falling a sleep. I worry I will stop breathing in my sleep because it is so difficult to breathe when I am awake. I know that seems silly to most but for me it is real right now and if I am going to get through this little bump in the road I need to just get this feeling out there. So, tonight I am sleeping sitting up as much as possible. I will be waiting in my dreams for the sun to come so that I can mark it down mentally that I am breathing another day in and hopefully at the end of this day my fears will be a little less and my head will be closer to resting on my pillow normally.
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