Solar Eclipse

I know that I use a lot of stories and analogies while writing my blog. There are so many aspects of my disease that I don't even understand so how can I expect others reading who are healthy to understand? Well, you tie it into something basic that everyone can experience so that they can grasp a little bit of what you are trying to say. While doing this I have found that I also grasp the complexities of my auto immune issues through this process. It is a win win situation in my book!

I remember in elementary school the teacher was explaining to us what a Solar Eclipse was. I can remember her telling us the moon is passing in between the sun and the earth. We made this contraption out of a box in order to see it because you can not look directly at it. I was so excited to see this image of our sun and moon! When it happened I remember thinking to myself how beautiful it was! There was this halo surrounding the moon and it looked magical! We continued to watch as the moon moved through the path between the earth and sun but I will never forget about the angelic halo surrounding the moon.

Today I am having a solar eclipse kind of day. It is shot day and for some reason (lack of sleep) it is a very uncomfortable one. The pain is all over and there is a burning sensation when I move. I have had a lot of inflammation in the lung area over the last few months and so that delightful medicine has seemed to settle in the muscles surround my chest. I can still breathe but it feels like you have coughed for several days causing a bruised rib, that is the best way I can describe it. The legs are very achy and my ability to go up and down the steps is limited at this point. Thank goodness the bathroom is upstairs with me or that could lead to a whole new set of problems! It is a dark day....not depressing but dark none the less.

I think of me and who I am and I picture the glowing sun! I love life and everyone who truly knows me can tell you that. I love everyone in my life and try as hard as I can to make sure their lives are a bit brighter when I am around. I light up the minute Tim gets home everyday or calls me to tell me he loves me. Even with Lupus I still can find joy and light in everything I encounter. However, I have an arch enemy........methotrexate! 

This monster loves to rob light out of everything it touches. It causes pain and sadness as it moves through the body. It is my dark moon passing in front of my sunlight. Does it fully take away my light...........NO WAY!!!! It just passes over leaving a little ray of light surrounding me. It is my solar eclipse.  Yes, it will pass over fully in a day or so and the light within me will get brighter and brighter and I will be able fight harder and harder against this disease. For now I will focus on that little halo of light and remember that even in the darkest moments of my disease there is still hope and even the smallest amount of light can guide me through this storm.